Accident

Spencer and I had been best friends for a while.  We did most everything together from the time we were out of Jr. High into High School until we went on our missions.  Spencer and I shared the same name and so everyone called me Haacke.  One day at school Spencer had a name tag on his chest “Hello I’m BIG.”  We thought this was hilarious and so we called him BIG the rest of high school.  BIG had the neatest personality.  He was very witty and funny but had the biggest heart out of anyone I have ever met.  He made me be a better person then and now.  We did almost everything together, in-fact, we opened our mission calls together.  Big was going to Lansing Michigan and I to Birmingham, Alabama.  So saying goodbye to him the night before I left on to Alabama was one of the hardest things I had to do.

Being apart from each other for two years we both felt it was time we did something that required some male bonding. What better way to have this reconnection of masculine, testosterone driven reacquaintance than to take skiing class together at the local college.  I didn’t know then that this would change both of our lives forever.

It was a blast going every Wednesday to Targhee Ski Resort to get a couple hours of instruction from a ski instructor and then play for a couple of hours on the hill.  I remember breaking out in random song lyrics as we rode the chair lifts up like “You picked a fine time to leave me Lucille,” and “You got a heart so big…” I was having a great time being with BIG again sharing stories of when we were apart.

This day was like any other day on the hill. Skip, our ski instructor, had us going through different drills and procedures that would help our skills on the mountain.  When we finished a chain of maneuvers he gathered us together and complimented us on how well we were doing.  I still felt awkward and vulnerable to wrecks but the next words out of Skip’s mouth ended any doubts in my mind.

“Would you like to do something fun?”

Now if you know me at all you know I am motivated by fun.  I love to do new things and the crazier the better.  The yellow personality in me screamed YES.

Skip took us to the bottom of the bunny hill and parked us next to a tiny little shack.  He instructed us to take off our ski’s.   As we did this as he brought out tiny skies that that barely fit on our already large boots.  He then told us to choose a bike.  Parked in front of the shack were these bikes that had ski’s that replaced the wheels and it had a really bouncy seat that absorbed and bumps you may hit.

After showing how to get on the chairlift we spent time riding the bunny hill going over wavy paths and having a great time.  We got used to it pretty quickly.

(this is where it gets foggy)

Skip indicated that this would be our last run down the mountain and we should meet him at the bottom.  He said that it would be a little more difficult, but to just follow him and we should be okay.  We went under the chair lift and it was not groomed like the rest of the bunny hill.  It was a lot steeper and harder to control than the bunny hill.  I don’t’ remember much but I kind of pieced together what I thought happened.  People wrecking in front of me and I dodging through them to avoid hitting them on my bike.  When I went over a snow embankment and continued to pick up speed heading down the mountain. That is when everything went black.

Spencer later told me that he saw me pick up speed and smack into a tree (some people still call me ScHmaacke to this day).  I laid there limp as Spencer pushed his way through the soft snow and gave me a priesthood blessing on that hill right then and there.  He knew how serious it was and as I asked him later on he just stated he that he felt it wasn’t my time to go.  That I was still needed on the earth.

I vaguely remember at one point looking seeing myself in a loud small room that shifted back and forth. (I believe that was the Helicopter)

The first clear memory I have is waking in a room that echoed.  I didn’t open my eyes while a woman asked me questions.  “What is your name?”  I would respond in accordance to their request.

“Do you know what happened?”  Came the next question.

“Yes, I was in an accident.”

I slowly work my eyes open and blink franticly to get my eyes to adjust.  The lights were dimmed and the roomed to be too large considering the lack of furniture in it.  I lay, or rather stick to a bed that seemed like it was sitting vertical.  I notice another woman standing by my bed, but I am unable to see her as my head is tightly strapped into a brace and bed.  I get the feeling that it is my mother.

“Do you know where you are at?” The women continues.

I look around the best that I could having my head strapped to the bed.

“Isn’t this Disneyland”  I said.

I could tell this was not the anticipated response as the nurse takes a short almost inaudible breath in and my mom quickly snapping that I need to be serious.  I heard my dad chuckle somewhere in the room.

“Yes,” I respond seriously, “I am in the hospital.”

I think that is the first time that everyone felt that everything was going to be fine.

The hospital kept me under close watch for a couple of days and then they said I could go home.  They gave me a list of things to look out for and strict instructions not to do any lifting over 5 lbs. Included on that list was if I ever leak spinal fluid out of my nose, eyes, or ears.  I was to not do anything mentally strenuous and so I had to drop out of school.  I spent much of my days watching M.A.S.H.

A couple days passed and my parents just got done making lunch and my dad helped me up.  I smelled this strange potent toxic odor.  I had thought my mom had been cleaning the bathroom again.  You would have to know my mom to know that only she could make the perfect cleaning solution combining bleach, oregano oil and melaleuca.  I started to eat lunch and my food tasted like toilet bowl cleaner and my nose was constantly running.  Either my mom was trying to poison me or one of the things the doctor told me to watch out for was happening.  My dad called the hospital and told them about my runny nose and strong smells.  They instructed us to come back in immediately.

They took me back into the hospital and they took samples of my dripping nose only to reveal that I was leaking spinal fluid out of my nose created by a crack in the part of your skull that my brain sits on.   They stated that I needed brain surgery immediately and so they arranged it for that next morning because I had already eaten that day.

My Parents and close friends (Spencer and Nathan Flemming) showed up that night to give me a blessing and I spent the night alone.  I have to admit that that was one of my loneliest nights I have ever had.  The next morning I was insisted that they shave my whole head because I didn’t want a sideways mohawk.  When they put me under they were getting me ready for surgery when I woke back up and insisted that they shave my whole head again.  This shocked them because this never happens.  They later said that anyone that could push through the knock out medicine only to tell them one more time to shave the whole head would probably be fine after the surgery.  Usually when someone is out they are out.  They waited until I was officially asleep.

The eight hour surgery only took 5 and they spent most of the time literally super glueing my head back together.  I was in the ICU for a week and then in the hospital for a week.  They sent me home and I was in the neck brace for 3 more months.  It was only then did I find that when I took off my neck brace that they had shaved my whole head except for what was under the neck brace.  They had left with a shaved head mullet.  I was hot.

I spent my days reading, watching movies, and quilting.  Thats right quilting.  I had a very kind neighbor spent Wednesdays helping me piece together a king size quilt from all the t-shirts I collected on my mission.

The rest, as they say in the movies, is history.

Meater

It was the summer of 2011.  AlthMakenzieough she couldn’t walk yet, Makenzie was quit mobile on her hands and knees searching for loose object to experiment in her mouth. Heather and I had just gotten into making efforts to fix up my parent’s house while they were away on their mission.  Kierra and Jeremy were running around the yard loving the warm weather and long grass.  It was a perfect day to work and enjoy the outside.

I placed Makenzie in the yard to graze as there was nothing out there that could be to dangerous compared to my work area on the porch.  I then began my strenuous work of sanding and painting a window shutter. Heather was off somewhere getting things ready to start her own project.

While I was working vigorously Heather came out of the house and using her mommy senses to spot two of our kids running around, but she couldn’t see Makenzie.  When she asked me I casually look up to the middle of the yard where I had pitched her to graze.  She was no longer there and so I quickly scan the yard all the way up to the porch where I was working close to the front steps.  I casually point her location out to Hather and I turned to continue on my project.

IMG_0356As I turn back to my project a hair curling, goose bump raising, high pitched scream fill the neighborhood.  The shock turned me to Heather who was muffling her scream with a cupped left  and pointing down at Makenzie with the other.   I quickly shift my gaze expecting to see something abnormal like my daughter morphed into an amoeba only to find Makenzie with a handful of insulation getting ready to put it it back in her mouth.  While this was alarming in itself Heather’s continual cupped hand and faint screams cause me to inspect much closer.  To my surprise I see a tail protruding from the insulation.  My mind quickly put the puzzle pieces together to indicate that it was not insulation, but a dead mouse.

It took me milliseconds to get into striking position.   I don’t know why I cocking my hands back under my armpits indicates my readiness, but it must have triggered a hidden inner ninja slap skill I got in a former life.  My hands, like a venomous cobras ready to strike, are curled up ready to set my daughter free from this germ infested rodent.

Even though nobody to could see my hands move, the momentum and crack that echos through the Teton Valley instantly startled Makenzie.  The lifeless rodent tumbled across the porch making my daughter free again to roam the land.  I turned slowly to Heather bracing myself for the inevitable embrace a true hero should get, but notice she was still cupping her hand over her mouth and pointing.   I then realized that I either found another inner super power of time travel, or Heather was still in shock.

With both my wife and my daughter screaming for totally different reasons I collect the dead mouse and dispose of it into the garbage.  Only to take a second to offer a shudder of disgust in realization of what had just happened.  In this moment of shock I run into the house and get the container of Lysol disinfectant wipes to clean the germs off my daughters hands, face, clothes, tongue, etc.  By this time my Heather had calmed down as much as she possible could in the situation and proceed to think of all the worst case scenarios that could possible happen if one had sucked on a dead mouses head.  I can’t remember everything she had mentioned, but I believe the phrase BLACK PLAGUE was used.

I decide to do the safest thing possible and call our doctor who also happens to be my oldest brother David.  As I rehearse the situation to him I expect him to tell me steps to take in order remedy the situation.  But all I hear back is silence…  all of a sudden the BLACK PLAGUE didn’t seam to farfetched as the pause lingers….

Like counting the seconds between a lightning strike and the thunder I waited for an answer knowing the longer the pause the more life threatening the situation could be.  I couldn’t help but believe David was choosing his words very carefully.

“THAT…” he said slowly.

“IS… ”

“..the grossest thing I have ever heard of.”

His tone got more light and almost laughable by the end of his comment

Through further discussion with my doctor, which is laughable now, we decided to play it safe and took the standard cautionary procedures of watching and waiting to make sure she didn’t get sick or turn into a werewolf.  As the shock wore off and days pass  I discover two things:

1. Makenzie has her father’s third super power; and immune system of a Komodo Dragon.

2. I now have the perfect nickname for Makenzie.  I started calling her Meater from that day on.  This is combining the two words Mouse and Eater (Meater).

Now that time has passed and our little Makenzie didn’t get sick or turn into a ravenous primate; we will stock this story away for a time we need it most.  I can think of one in particular as the first boy suiter comes to call.  I will break out the Meater story sharing as much gory details as I possibly can to scare or gross out said boy.

Because as far as I am concerned, I could care less if all the boys believe that Meater could be carring the BLACK PLAGUE.January13_9

– Spencer L. Haacke

Patterns

I was sitting down with my son to help him work on his homework.  We came across an exercise that I remember all to well. Patterns It was fun to watch him figure out patterns.  I then started pondering on how this simple excercis prepares us for or applies to life.  Patterns are all around us. Even the day we live in is a pattern.  The day starts and the sun rises.  We studied the path the sun makes across the sky until it sets in the west.  This then results in the end of the day.  We often use the pattern of a day to establish our own life patterns.  We may call these patterns different things, but they exist and we use them to make sense or our lives. With out these patterns we may start to panic and try to get back to familiar as soon as possible.  I will give you three examples.

Organization
Order is a natural element in our lives.  If we don’t have some sort of order and organization we tend to be unproductive and scattered.  This then creates chaos which results in stress.  Here is a quick example.  I am currently going through a job interview right now because my contract is up in 6 months.  If I pass the interview and get hired I can continue on with “regular life” filled with patterns I have established.  Because of the interviews and life is put on hold I have found that our normal day to day routine is disrupted and on hold because of the uncertainty of our next step.  We lose some of this order and organization.  Because of this certainty and lack of our normal day to day patterns I tend to want to come home and talk about our next steps in life or over analyze the interviews and peoples reactions.  This in turn creates additional stress on top of the current disruptions.  Additionally this puts in motion a new pattern of not doing things that are normally done in routine like doing the dishes, which in turn replaces a familiar environment in a cluttered environment were order is being taken away.  This new unfamiliar pattern then builds up stress because we lack one of the most basic elements of order and organization in our home.

Everyone needs structure and organization in their life.  If we constantly had to find new ways of doing things it would be very stressful.   It is important to establish patterns in your life so you can have relief from the natural stresses that are there.  It is not easy having to go out in the world to battle for good and then come home to an unfamiliar place.  When this occurs something simple like not being able to find a pacifier for your crying child becomes a bigger deal.  We don’t need more stress in our lives and so I encourage your to establish the pattern of order and organization in you life.

Reactions
–  We are naturally experience life and finding how we fit in it.  Our personalities and self concept are developed by peoples reactions to us.  We can either find security in others reaction to us or we finid motivation to change to gain their approval.  Reactions are those little nudges we use as humans to govern our interactions with each other.  If I say something off the wall and someone looks at me quizzically, I know that I either didn’t make sense or they did not agree with what I was saying. I then take that bit of information and make or correction or reinforce my current standing.  If I say something profound and the other people react/node in agreement it builds confidence in who I am in that role.

Reactions are an important part of who we are and who we want to become.  I was told once that I need to watch the things I do.  At the time it was advice in dating, but I realized that it was actually advice for my whole life.  My reaction or lack of reaction can establish a pattern that communicates things that I don’t want it to. Here is an example.  My son Jeremy was working on one of his projects.  He had the tape, the glue, the cardboard box, and his scissors.  I was watching a basketball game on an i-Pad and working on my own project.  In order to fully understand the whole situation we need to understand all the of elements in the equation.  We had physical objects such as all of Jeremy’s supplies, my supplies, and the I-pad.  We had noise from the ball game.  We had space; my space and Jeremy’s space.  We then had distractions of which neither of us wanted at the moment, Jeremy’s little sister.

She wanted to do what Jeremy was doing.  It looked fun and Jeremy was having a great time.  Her way of participating is to just grab things which would result in the breaking of one of our house rules of respecting other peoples things. Which in turn would break another house rule of using our normal voices.  The combination of the noise from the ball game, the screaming, the tile floors, and bare walls resulted in a perfect audible annoyance that I would penetrate the core of anyone’s brain in an overbearing way.  My first reaction would be stop this disruption immediately.  My tendency is to remove the element that caused the disruption but that would result in my daughter being upset and the noise continuing until the other parent gets involved.  My second gut reaction is to make Jeremy share. This to would flare into un-happiness as my daughter isn’t old enough to share in a proper manner that would create harmony.  The final answer would be to react in a way that all would be happy.  I would have to put asside my desires in my project and go and help my daughter on her own project.  This is not easy especially when I really wanted to watch the ball game, or when my wife and I are having a great discussion about something.

Reactions can set in motion how my kids feel and how they think I feel about them.  It can set patterns of how they will react to each other.  It can also set in motion new patterns that will be harder to break as they are able to control their reactions.  Ideally consistent positive reactions would turn into habbits, which would then to build character.

As we look at the big picture of how reactions are a way we discover who we are to each other.  If we are consistently displaying positive reactions to others around us it will set in motion a pattern.  Those that get our positive reactions will build with-in themselves a positive self worth.  This can result in confidence and well being and can result in them becoming a good people.  The small things truly do become the big.

Habits–  Habits are natural tendencies we do in given situations, moments, or life.  There are good and there are bad habits. These habbits are life patterns we establish for ourselves that offer us some sort of relief or enjoyment.  We often will use peoples natural reactions as a way we judge people around us.  “That is just the way they are.”   The important thing is to try to establish the good habits in your life.  This is easier said than done, but I have found a simple way to do this.

I will display this by giving an example.  I wanted to establish a habit of reading my scriptures when I first got up in the morning.  This was difficult because I would usually wake up before my alarm clock by something that was on my mind like a lesson plan, or the desire to finish that basketball game I had to stop the night before.  My knee jerk reaction would be to go down and do what was on my mind.  I am good at getting things done because I do what is on my mind.  I learned that from my Mom.  My wife taught me that just because it is on my mind doesn’t necessarily mean I have to do it right then.  We often think of things we need to do as a sub conscious reminder or things that are important.  It is important to get them off our mind, so we can do the thing we would like to do free form any mind distractions.  So the key is to get it out of your mind.  So here are some tips to ingrain in yourself good habits:

  1. Clear your mind
  2. Establish a setting you enjoy
  3. Allow enough time

1.  Clear you mind.  Our first inclination is to push things out of out minds but that only packs it in there deeper and creates pressure.  We are afraid that we will forget what we needed or wanted to do.  This can result in extra stress in fear we will forget.  This stress is a natural way you mind works to help us remember it later on.  The key is to literally get it out of your mind.  You have to extract it by what ever means is best for you.  I use a utensil called a pen and scratch paper.  My office desk has so much scratch paper to assist in this extraction.  If it is on my mind I write it down and put it in a place that can be recalled easily when it is time to worry about those things.  Now that you have cleared your mind it is easier to go to your next step.

2.  This setting should be something you look forward to because you want to do it everyday.  I started this process of consistent reading of the scriptures in the fall as the weather started getting cooler.  I would get up and my house would tend to be a little cold.  I decided that I wanted to go and jump into a hot tub and relax.  This gave me the perfect opportunity to do what I wanted to do, study my scriptures.  I really enjoyed this me time in a hot tub with a good book and quiet time.  It can be any place that you would like it to be, the only criteria is it is a place that you want to be.  The fact that I wanted to get worm was the trigger I needed to go to my place.

3.  Allowing enough time is important because you have to get in your REM mode.  I don’t know if there is a real term other than sleep, but I think of it as sleep.  In order to get the best sleep you need to go through a number of cycles to get the REM (Rapid Eye Movement) cycle of sleep.  This is the cycle that you get the most productive sleep. The same thing goes in developing a good habit.  You need to allow enough time to hit that REM (Really Enjoy Myself) mode of where you don’t want to stop. What this does is create a desire to do it again the next day.

By implementing these three things it helped me develop the habit of studying my scriptures.   This same cycle could be done to establish father son time, family prayer, mowing the lawn, or visiting your parents.

Patterns are around us all the time.  Our life is a pattern.  As we establish good patterns of organization, reactions, and habits we will find more peace and enjoyment in our lives.  I know that life will always throws curve balls, but if you are organized, have positive reactions, and form good habit those curve balls will seem to be coming at you in slow motion.

– Spencer